Within Myself

From all those fightings, I came into realisation that it's doom. I must learn how to control my own emotions. Prevention is still better than cure. It's takes time to heal heartbreaks, heartbreaker. We hurt each other with the things we wanted to say.


At the end of this journey, I hope to learn something. And that's to hide. History is gonna repeat and this time I really hope it succeeds cos' I badly want it to. I would not expect to be noticed. I would not expect to be treated differently. I will make with what I have. In no time, those words won't touch me. I will stay strong cos' I WANT TO. Everything seems like a ROUTINE now. Nothing else is special. Friends, stop calling, I won't entertain unless you are one of those closer ones who have been there for me sincerely. I will quit for some time. MAYBE.


-The other side is still empty, and I think it will never be taken. Those were the nights alone.

detests

I hate it.

I hate it when I am okie. Really fine.

And something that reminds me of you comes up, and I go crashing down again.

Self-Praise

It's good.

I'm hiding them well. I'm coping well.

You made me this way. I'm sorry.

I wonder if you noticed.

Ad: Storage Solutions!

I was browsing through this webbie when I came across this Diamond Plate Garbage Can! It's so cute! It looks so pretty and shiny too! But, The price is WOW! I do not think I can afford it. Nevertheless, they have the Neon Clocks which is kinda cool. Especially this one. If they have the one with an aircraft, I will DEFINITELY get it for Ter. Well, whatever it is, they have a wide range from Diamond Plate Garage Cabinets to Car Decors. Well, you can actually find large storage bins where you can place your stuff like your gardening stuff, even big or small toys. Visit HERE to know more! ((:

This explains it all...

You Are 93% Bitchy

Ouch, you've got a heart of steel, and you don't mind throwing out cutting insults to whomever you hate. Those who know you well know not to mess with you. And those who don't know you well are plain scared of you!

How Bitchy Are You?

Online Shopping Sprees

I thought my blogging bug flew away. But I can't resist ranting! I was introduced to online shopping few years back. For the past few years, I have been just looking and browsing around. Pages to pages, sites to sites. Being a perfectionist, I never trust buying stuff online even if they look so pretty. Even when I went over to Terence's place, his mum just showed me some pages and stuff. I wasn't that keen because I DO NOT TRUST online shopping. Because my shopping principles:

1. Must look at the actual item. (See whether REALLY nice a not)
2. Must try on myself. ( See whether it fits me or it suits me. Because some stuff might not suit me though I like it. Do not ever buy something you like but doesn't suit you! )
3. Must check for defects.

OH MY GOD! Life is so unfair! Why must the shooping bug eats into me when I am finanically unstable?! And when I am finanically stable, I feel that I do not need anything at all! For some reason, IT'S SO UNFAIR! I WANNA BE RICH!!! I WANNA BE RICH!!! Why does Paris Hilton get everything she wants and not be a good girl?! Make me rich and I promise I will still be good.

Well, some people might comment that I am pathetic because I am finanically unstable. But please, AT LEAST I ADMIT I AM. I know my limits in spending. Not like some people who put up a brave front (and brag) that they are finanically stable when they are not. Those are the real pathetic ones! ((: Okie, Big Digression here.
Back to those irritating blogs with nice dresses and necklaces. Click here for the top 100 sites. My favourite is still this. Cos' the accessories are MY TASTE. So Vintage, a little dash of bling blings and most importantly, they are unique! Not many people are wearing it. Imagine walking down the streets and see people wearing the same thing as u. LIKE UNIFORM LA!

Okie, Whatever, before I start buying them using my paypal, I will ask for my gay partner's opinion. He knows my taste in accessories! ((:

P.S: Blogging bug, Please come back to me so that I can blog more and get more money in my paypal!!! I wanna go to Olympics 2008 to watch Fencing Matches. Sponsors anyone?!

the test.

Well, there will be a lack of posts. Whatever it is, I hope you try this: CLICK HERE

It's a Colour Vision Deficiency Test. A friend just send me this link. Have fun! ((:

Sweet Surrender.

I am done. Epithelial tissues, Connective tissues, Muscle tissues can't seem to be absorbed. For an alternative, I decided to continue doing things I always enjoy doing late at this hour, however, I still can't get myself to do it after the overwhelming feelings of betrayal.

Since young, my feelings NEVER prove me wrong.

My head is still spinning, it's been a week and the hurt still remain- I am still unwell.
For now, I rather stay in and never be discharged.
Now, I wish I didn't want to study for my test.
I wish I didn't see things that I didn't want to see.
Sometimes I wonder whether I am doing too much. Am I?
Am I giving too much?! Am I?
Though humans fault.
What is forgiving without forgetting? It works in a pair.

P.S: For all that are close to me, If I ever fault, Do not forgive me if you can't forget. I rather not be forgiven.

Something to remember

I was caught up in a dilemma whether to earn some peanuts by blogging or to look through some stuff online. Looks like I have already made my choice from the title of this post.

I was looking through some emails from my RP email. What emails you wonder?! Well, emails that reminded me of how stressed, busy I was during this period last year. Handling the HPB project after Poly Forum, and the Thailand trip. They all seem so yesterday.

I just realised I have these photos:

Sorry honey that I post this up. I know it's your hair, they gone wild. It's payback for playing ping pong without me :)

The 2 humans circled in yellow are Ridwan and Ina. I wonder who is the long hair guy I spotted with 2 girls in the orange circle. Might be Ashley, or Terence.

I will never forget the little girl (beside me) coming up to me, telling me this in a small squeaky voice, "Jie Jie, My mummy haven't come yet." HAHAS. DAMN CUTE LA! I accompanied her all the way till her mum came. I thought her how to be a cam whore. :D

28/09/2006 was the 4th Service Learning Trip meeting conducted by Ridwan which is also to welcome 3 NEW MEMBERS INTO THE TEAM: MIKE, TERENCE AND EDWIN. I remember clearly that they were supposed to do a short introduction of themselves and Terence was super noisy and he gave me quite a bad impression. :D And he said that he was from Biomedical Electronics and I told Wee Boon, "eh.. same course as me..." And Terence was happy because he thought he had a senior already la! Can teach him stuff that he do not know. ASS! Terence and Mike were then posted into my team and I was thinking, "ya what! new members, new people that I do not like. Ridwan's Poly Forum team, BIG FUCK HUH?!" But, I just bit my lips and went on, Mike and Terence made things more difficult for me by not attending meetings and I was so fed up till I gave up.

17/11/2006 was the movie marathon. We all spend one night in school. Hmm... before we left, we all took a group photo. And we sang a birthday song for Wee Boon, and after that, we sang a birthday song for Terence when he was in the toilet. IT WAS THAT LOUD! And I gave the birthday boys a hug each.

And just a blink of an eye, it's 2007, next? 2008?! I have no idea why I am feeling so nostalgic. I am back with pictures now.

For some reason, I miss my black hair.

The aftermath.

My neck hurts, my head feels like I had a horrible hangover. My nose bridge is damn pain cos' I hit the floor face flat.

The last thing I remember was that I was in the observation room. For the past 2 days, I have no idea what happened. All I remember was the flashing lights of street lamps, traffic lights, some muffled voices, for I know I wasn't conscious.

People told me that I asked questions repeatedly (which I think I didn't!), like I asked the same question every 20 seconds. The only thing I know is that I was sober when I was in the observation room at 12am.

There was a damn stupid straw that was inserted into my skin which hurts big time. Till now, I do not think I remember anything. I am just blur right now. I was told that I was sent to Mount Alvernia Hospital and then to Singapore General Hospital. hmm...

Thanks Siti and Kim for the cake:

I really appreciate it. Not forgetting all the others' well wishes too.

If anyone wonder what happen, the doctor's primary diagnosis was head injury with amnesia. That explains it all. What cause it? Low blood pressure.

As always, I will say something abnormal. I enjoy seeing boys cry. I enjoy it when Terence cry. HAHAS. But I missed the show. I was unconscious la! WASTED.
Whatever it is, Precious, Thanks for tolerating my questions that I asked repeatedly. Thanks for staying up till the wee hours. Thanks for everything. There's nothing more I can ask for. :)