MOVED!

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Dear friends, Please update accordingly! THANKS!

Sorry

I'm back to ground zero. He hates me. Maybe he never did love me. The feeling really sucks. Going back to school was killing me. I REALLY HATE IT. Everywhere I went, I was like drowning me in my own tears.

Sweetie, I'm sorry, you might not be able to meet him. Maybe because he doesn't know. That would be my one and only regret in life. Just remember, you are mine, and I love you, forever, and always. I will always always remember you :)

Stronger than ever.

I promise myself to be stronger. I promise you that I will be much stronger if I sacrifice you. Kim is right, I am a strong person and Nobody can be as strong as me. Thanks Kim. I am all ready to fight the emotional battle and trauma. I know I'll be fine. You guys have always been my strength. Dinner was fanastic with his family yesterday. It felt so warm again, but then weird without him. But I was happy though. Sitting in the car was weird too as there was an empty space between me and Timothy. However, I am thankful that I am still able to dinner with people who are still so dear to me. I am indeed more thankful receiving a call from his mum this morning, hoping that I was on my way to school. Thank you so much! I am really happy and touched. For now that I am accused of being with someone else. I do not need to convince anyone. I resign to fate.

Hairshow Post is pending. :)

FAKE

Speaking about not being with anyone else. What makes me not a good enough girlfriend for him!? I GAVE HIM EVERYTHING.

What else can I say? She calls him Teddy Bear, attached on 29.3: 29th of March 2008. Both of their friendster status are MARRIED. Romeo and Juliet.

Am I stupid or dumb?!

Maybe I am.

Coincidence is god's way of being Anoymous

I'm done with Hairshow. Though it was a successful event, I do not feel happy anymore. Yesterday was the first and last time walking on the runway with you. I know you can feel the rush in me. I know I did you proud because you know I like doing this. I will miss you on the runway with me. As day passes, I am growing more attached towards you. I'm afraid that I can't bear to let you go, but I know I have to. I'm sorry sweetie. My fault. My bad. Right now, my playlist is filled with No Doubt's Don't Speak, Life in Mono by Mono, I Go Crazy by DHT, Littlest Things by Lily Allen, Going Crazy by Natalie and Gwen Stefani's 4 in the morning. It's crazy, bitter to drop back to ground zero. I really do not want to be in this way. And in the meanwhile, those promises from him is starting to disappear in thin hair, He promised to fly my honeymoon plane, no matter what happens between us and I doubt it will happen though I want it so much. He said that he wanted to concentrate on his carrer, and he doesn't feel for anyone. Now that things are already like that, I guess what he said that day was just a way of comforting me but sadly, I rather hear the truth and now, I see the truth myself. It hurts so much now, much more than how it was initially. Why must he lie?! Somehow, I wish that I know the truth, the truth of you not wanting to be with me. I guess having a career is an excuse to leave because right now, you are happy with someone else.

How can you move on so fast? How can you? After all the ups and downs? After all I have done? You really hurt me badly. And now, I am back to ground zero. Thank You.

The 1st April: Fate

Mae's Awakening
When I close my eyes to this paradox place,
ill fly away far away from here,
I’ll get away and dream,
dream of you,
when its all said and done,
and the night has come,
ill disappear,
take flight on the wind of wishing you where here,
fading light like a star whose life has been gone for years

and I'll fly,
fly across the sky,
and I’ll leave,
leave it all behind,
if you’d be here,
here with me tonight,
I’ll be fine,
I’ll be fine,
I’ll be fine

I’ll disappear,
take flight on the wind of wishing you where here,
fading light like a star whose life has been gone for years

and I'll fly,
fly across the sky,
and I’ll leave,
leave it all behind,
if you’d be here,
here with me tonight,
I’ll be fine,
I’ll be fine,
I’ll be fine…



Well, April's Fool wasn't nice for me today. And I know that every April's Fool wouldn't be the same anymore as today's memory will forever be emblazoned in my mind. Sometimes, I wish I didn't live off today. It sucks having to fall back to ground zero again. Tearing everywhere. At that moment, those stares didn't matter again. Those flashbacks are so bitter. The only comforting thing was hearing you saying that you miss me. And see you replying a "yes" in that question I asked. Maybe you may call me stupid that I still have hopes. Maybe I still do. Maybe I don't. All I know is that, I still can't get out of this shithole because...

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW.

IT'S FRUSTRATING AND SADDENING.

Right now, I will get to feel you as long as I want to till that faithful day. Sweetie, I know that you can sense his presence. I know. I wonder how you would look like. Cos' part of me is excited to see you. But I know I can't. Time doesn't allow me too. I'm sorry sweetie. You will get to sense him again. I promise.



Tomorrow would be HAIR PREP FOR HAIRSHOW, AND ZOUK WITH BUTTOCKS!

SP Video

Well, Kevin came over to film some daily rountine thing a few weeks back. The video is done and I must say it's damn good no doubt some movements of mine are damn unglam! haha!