It's so un-glam man!

What is so un-glam? That's when you finished blogging and then it screwed up on you. And now, I'm continuing from where i left off. Well, Kim called me and she was in tears, so, me, being the natural kind soul.. a-hem.. i told her that i would accompany her to NYP to settle it. wahahaha.. and then we went to Republic to settle my stuff... and that's to collect my laptop and i tell u... I'M LOVING IT!

I met Daddy after that. And realised that he was invloved in the car accident. His hand was all bandaged. gawd! I was so shocked. When he told me he was writing a statement via sms. I first thought he got into a fight. BUT, i didn't expet this coming... so bad! God! I was trying so hard to keep cool when he stepped in. Maybe that was why i look like i was SO BUSY. tsk tsk tsk.

On Tues, was the MOST disappointing day man! I purposely took leave for the impt event. The ZA couple search! GOD! and i must tell u! Daddy and I was terribly disappointed! We didn't win. It's okay i guess. At least we were the 1st runner up right daddy! *smilez* Disappointing yes, but no matter what, our hearts are tied as one! =)
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Yesterday, Yu Pei and I went shopping! And i must say, I'm OFFICIALLY A CAM WHORE! wahahaha! look at those pictures man! Yu Pei and I met up at about 1 and we went lunching. We then walked to the Esprit boutique near Meritus Mandarin. I went there to BUY SOMETHING. i mean... WANTED.. but ended up walking out empty-ended. We then went to Wisma to take a look at Charles and Keith. We saw a pair of beautiful heels but then we couldn't get our sizes. I then requested the lady to check whether Plaza Singapura have our sizes. AND... there was! THANK GOD! We then hit for Esprit's Wisma to get my stuff. and i must say, I FEEL SO PROUD. I'M TEMPORARY PROUD TO BE THE OWNER OF "IT". And i HOPE that it FITS daddy. Cause I'm sure it'll fit! ohh boy... We went to Plaza Singapura to get our heels. Unfortunately, My eye caught on a better looking pair! It was beautiful man. AND THE MATERIAL IS SO SOFT! It was just my lucky day! Yu Pei and I ended up buying the same pair and same COLOUR! After touring in the shop, we went to Gelare for tea. wha.. I tell you guys.. Its SIMPLY PURE PAMPERING! ohh boy.. check out the pictures!

I forsee a tough day at work tml. It will be a long day man! Gonna bring daddy for his x-ray tml!AND pay is coming in tml! wahahaha...! till then... *muacks* OUUUTTZZ!wheeeeeeeeee...

okay la... cam whore a bit before i go out okay?
I can't seem to carry out that "stare" anymore! err... i love my eyes! 

okay... daddy, there's a lil' clue. and i tell you.. u'll NEVER FIND OUT!! thanks to yu pei who arrange our stuff in this way!
This Is the cute napkin! USED somemore!
The new ambassador of Gelare? LOL! Hope Gelare don't sue me for this! 

That's my 3/4 eaten Banana Boat!
Indulge babey!
You know, I always sucked in acting cute.. Is this a a pass? 

We were really BORED.
Why do i always get to do the licking? Is that because I've more sex appeal? wahahaha.. *stun* 

Hey, I ain't looking at cute guys okay? Im missing my daddy! =)
Thanks Yu Pei! Now I know how I look from the back. Re-dying my hair? I MAY consider! 

I hope this is at least 3 inches man!
So "cinderella" right? wahahaha 

Hey, I deserve some credit okay. It took be a had time in taking this photo. I had to bend down. and blah blah. 

Do you girls know?

Well, I was doing some researching and this is what i've found... check this out...

http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

Many girls and teens tear or otherwise dilate their hymen while participating in sports like bicycling, horseback riding, gymnastics or inserting tampons...

cool stuff isn't it?

Well, I'm not sure why... but after what my best friend told me about. I decided to check this out. And i guess, it's indeed true.

dinner!

He does look smart right?
For some reason, I feel that i look like a news broadcaster.
Ok.. Should we pay or RUN? 

Dates to remember!

Alright man! My Ice Lemon Tea is set! Time to start blogging. heee... Let me track back.. On the 25th of March, Daddy went to Republic Poly with me. It was pretty fun. yaya.. It was pretty rough in the morning at first cause we had a fight the night before. He was mad because i went home late. But I went to err... i went to... okay. NO EXCUSES i know. We reached Woodlands at about 8.45am. We were like pretty early! Then, Daddy went throught the matriculation process with me. Cool. It was pretty easy. And if people were to ask me how Republic Poly is like... errr... all I can say is that... Some parts are still under renovation + "where got time?"--->( okay, inside joke, only daddy knows! =) ) The people there were sort of pretty friendly. We saw some mums who were SUPER-KIASU..

" You sure is like that ar? "
" Huh? Where is the queue for the payment? WHERE IS THE QUEUE? "
" Oh Ya, MUST ar.. MUST buy computer insurance! Your kor kor SAY ONE! UNDERSTAND? "

We saw some ah-lian and ah-beng wannabes. And daddy was like.. " Mummy, U have competition!" Ohh.. sorry, i'll form my own bitch club i guess... ah-lians are OUT! We saw GOLDEN MONKEYS too! Not forgetting that bunch of NERDS too..!

Daddy and I went for lunch at Causeway Point after that. I must say, the asam pedas there is.. SUPER-SHIOK ar. After having our fill, we went to catch a last minute movie. "Yours, Mine, and Ours " (Daddy can't remember the title! he ended up saying. "Yours, Mine, Us..." wahahaha!) The movie was pretty good. Real comedy man! Didn't regret watching it. Furthermore, this is the first time i watched movie with Daddy WITHOUT anyone around. Ohh yaa.. forgot to say, First time I sat on the Couple Seats and I must say.. It was GOOD! *smilez*

We met Lijie after that to bring her to Pasir Ris to meet Stanley. Wha lao, Daddy, don't you feel that we're like matchmakers? hee...

Yesterday, which was the 27th of March. I followed my dear Kim for her poly registration. She was in tears when she called me the night before! I followed....

fucked up blogger! It screwed up EVERYTHING! DAMN!


Whatever it is i'm going shopping tml with Yu Pei. Charles and Keith here we come!

Our Nightlife!

Ok.. Don't we look gorgeous together? 1st runner up leh! don't play play! wahaha.. H's so CUTE!
For once, he said he's nose was cut off!
Alright, this is like much better right? 

Dinner!

That's his dinner, he finished it all.. As for me, i didn't. I was FULL! 

CRASH!

well, take a look at this and guess... which was their car? tsk tsk tsk 

Crashed

What will you do if the whole world come crashing on you? How do you defined a crash? How do you even know when the whole world is crashing on you?

March has been the MOST HORRIBLE month so far. It has been a "broke" month i must say.. AND it has been the SLOWEST month so far.. AND it's has been the WORST month for me i must say! APRIL HURRY! I'M WAITING!

What should i do when YOU don't even listen to me. What's the point of me screaming and you screaming when YOU don't even listen. YOU have your OWN HELP. It seems like you don't even need me. I'VE MY LIFE MUM! The two kids don't even want to listen. What else can i do? All you want to see, is my face right at your face everyday. IF me, going out is an selfish act towards the two. What about them? They not doing their homework and not listening AND not fulfilling their reponsibilities are also SELFISH acts. Cause they DEPRIVE MY FUN! and when they grow up. Who's gonna replace the fun i've missed? If they DO NOT have help.. i'll help them.. they are lazy. I DON'T HIT THEM. Cause i'm NOT ALLOWED to. DADDY! STOP STOPPING ME. I'LL DEAL WITH THEM MY OLD WAY! yes daddy, that's it.. FEAR.

it's me and me and me again

currently at stan's house surfing.. wahahaha.. SUPPOSED TO HELP LI JIE WITH HOMEWORK... i'm horrible! heee.. well, take a look at the first 2 pics below. that was what daddy bought for me on tuesday. He was so cute. and i guess everything's okay?

err.. not really okay yet i guess.. i'll take things SLOW. i'll do what i need to do.. =)

isn't this sweet? i love this so much! thanks daddy! =)

so cute right? hehehe... that's a lil' hippo in her ballerina suit!

i feel.. i'm simply just gorgeous! wahahaha... so BHB!

Well, people say i look like a 14 year-old kid trying to be a 17. =)

this is what you become after a horrible night. tsk tsk tsk. ugly shit. i guess i'll have comments of shutting down my blog soon..

I'm hanging by a thin thread

I guess it's time to change my blogskin. It's been a long time since i blog... Well, it havent been a good week so far... Last Friday.. I went out with Daddy and his family... We went to celebrate his dad's bdae. We went to suntec to have Japanese food. That was the only good occasion i can think of for the past week.

As i said, i'm hanging by a thin thread, I can't help it. I just keep tearing. Listening to him makes me tear. I just can't get over what happen last night. All the things he said keep circulating in my mind. It just keeps going. I don't know what to do. I feel so.. so.. the feeling is just unexplainable! Daddy, you wanna know why i did that? You really wanna know? It's not that i'm not determined to quit. It's just that i wanna keep my weight. I love my body. If you take it as an excuse, I'm sorry. This is not an excuse to me. I love my waist now. I love it. I love my weight. I really don't feel like talking about anything. It just makes me sick. I can't afford to cry, I'LL GO BLIND! i really need to break free.

If you can act like nothing happen last night and that ya not angry with me anymore. I'm sorry but i can't. I just can't get over the fact that it happen. You made me sound like I'm some kind of loser who dare not take up the consequences. You made me sound like helping people around me is wrong (no matter who the person is). You made me sound so immature that i do not know anything. You made me look like a 3 year-old kid. Those expressions, those feelings were all uncounted for.

I know, I'm in the wrong. You made me sound like i'm some kind of evil person. You made me sound like i've no guilt conscience. You didn't know those feelings when i was lying right beside you. You didn't know. You didn't know how i felt when i look at you. It wasn't love at those moments. But all guilt. You didn't know didn't you. You didn't know that i even thought of sacrificing how i look now and stop that habit. You didn't even know that i even thought of telling you what i did after i stop that habit. Yes, i lied. But did u know all these things? Do you even know that the good news i wanted to tell you was that i've quit by the end of this week? You didn't. You made me sound so bad. You really made me sound like a beast.. You even made me look like me crying was just to gain sympathy from you. You even made me look like i was trying to gain pity with that sad face. damn... those were all wrong. Why must you say that? Why must you say that? Do you know that it brings back bad memories? Do you do know? It still haunts you know? What bad memories? It brought me back to the moment when i was under the block with the whole "gang" and you shouted at me.. "stop all those crocodile tears.. they are all fake.." How could you even wrong my own identity and proclaimed that they were fake? How could you even asked whether you should leave. I HATE THAT QUESTION! I REALLY HATE IT. IHATEITIHATEITIHATEIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO USE THAT AS A THREAT KNOWING THAT I REALLY DO NEED YOU? Are you using it cause you know that i really love you now? I HATE YOU FOR THAT! I REALLY HATE YOU FOR THAT!

If you ever asked, why all these are happening now.. What wrong have you done.. there are things that i didn't say. Things that i never told you. Another part of my birthday wish. And that's to vow revenge on you. I was so mad.. I know all these could be prevented. But i dunno why it keeps happening. It as if something in my sub-consciencious mind is doing. Maybe it's really payback of what you done. I may be wrong. I've been trying to cover it up. I dunno why.

Whenever i'm mad at you, I don't bring the past unhappy stuff along.. I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. BUT YOU BROUGHT IT ALL UP! Instead, i think of how nice you've been. How much a dear you can be and i'll not get that angry. Yours is always a full blast. WHY HAVEN'T YOU THOUGHT? YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT... U CONTROL MY LIFE. I still follow through. I listened. Based on my character, I WON'T DEAL WITH ANY SHIT LIKE THAT! But i did, spare a thought for me whether i should be even like that? I'm not myself when i'm with you. never. WHAT WAS MYSELF? MYSELF WAS THE GIRL WHO GAVE YOU A WHOLE BUNCH OF ATTITUDE ON 26 OF MARCH 2005! That was Clara Liew Yan Jin! THAT WAS THE GIRL WHO HAD HER OWN THINKING AND BELIEVE IN NOTHING ELSE WITH EXCEPTION OF HERSELF. THAT WAS THE GIRL WHO DIDN'T EVEN ALLOW ANYONE TO CONTROL HER LIFE! You sure you want her back? This is not me. I'm not easily beaten down by nature. I lost it. Even my self-esteem.

Whatever it is, it's time to break free i guess, I'm just waiting for ure green light daddy, let me do it. If not, I'll stay at my working place as a patient not a admin staff. Believe me.

it's like that

ENOUGH! till then.. i'll say GOODBYE. I SWEAR I'M GOING MIA! i need a break. a real break for sure.. I'M GONNA BREAK LOSE! (Siti, u know what i mean.) it's enough. i had enough! old flames coming back. DOES EVERYONE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT URE FUCKING IMAGE OR LOOKS?!? i ain't saying that i'm pretty. but i definitely look better than my secondary sch and primary school days.. and to those fucking people. NO ONE WILL SPOIL WHAT I HAVE NOW. I'M HAPPY! THAT'S ALL!

p.s:
I know ya reading this. The right person will figure out. Everytime i try to talk to u. I failed. I've never to talk to u before. and i mean heart to heart talk. You are the only one that i do not have it with. Whenever i see you, i just let loose. i dun feel like talking because OUR moments are SPECIAL. Just a glance is just enough. You being like that whenever something happens makes me feel bad. You give me a very bad feeling. It's as though you don't trust me. It's as though you dun have faith in me. It's as if you are not sure how i feel about you. AND it's as if you doubt me. It's sad boy. It's so sickening. I understand your point of view. I've never doubt you. I hate the feeling. It's depressing. i dunno.. i'm sick.. that's all. it's mentally torturing. People tell me you are possessive. I know. I call that love. But then again, they tell me being possessive is not love. I'm not confused. i know you feel the same way as i do. I feel that i've failed. I've failed badly. I feel that i've failed in expressing myself. but i've never have this feeling. till then.. i'll see..

DON'T doubt me cause i MADE you doubt me.

DON'T think i want more cause I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH...


think about it..

unbelievable

You are just unbelievable. I would rather believe what i hear cause i know u too well...

What will you do if i turn SUICIDUAL?!?!?!

my apologies

I'm sorry for being so emotional all the time,
I'm sorry for not being able to show you how i feel,
I'm sorry for always being unreasonable,
I'm sorry for not being who i wanna be,
I'm sorry for being unable to understand ur pains