it's still haunting me..

It's been 3 years. Eversince 2002 ended, i've always end the year reminising what happen back in 2002, opening my lil' "europe box", silly things that i kept etc. Some people tried convincing me that i've not let go. But, in actual fact, i know it's the memories that i've kept. It's just fresh in my mind. Well, i just bought a new photo album to re-organise my photos. I'll keep them well. There are some questions that were posted to me by "Ms Someone". And i'm glad that i can answer them finally after 3 long years.

1. Why are you still so semtimental about it?
Because, it's just me. I mean, u'll never forget what happen. It happen in a foreign country and it's the first time u leave the country without ure family. Of course, the people around you at that time leave a huge impact on you.

2. People around you? OR do you mean PERSON WITH you?
okay. FINE. yes indeed. HE MADE (read that? made! PAST TENSE) A DEEP AND LARGE impact in such a short period of 2 months. i know. But i'm sorry to say that those didn't linger on when i found the one i really loved few months back. It's different. I'm not like in the past where i just go around falling into love traps, to forget THAT person. HE'S HISTORY.

3. okay. but don't you hate him?
Yes. I DID, but not now. it just felt like i knew him so well. But now, it's just like two strangers walking down the streets. I don't treat him like one of those enemies of mine. But it's that what he did that time freeze the love, melt it to hatred, then freeze it back to the "neutral mode" again. And it's no shame to claim that he was the first person that taught me the "numbness of love"

4. What about fencing?
Yes, I told you that "yes, he will recognised what i've done for him. the sacrifices etc. time will tell blah blah blah.." but now. it doesn't matter anymore, because, i don't see a need to. even if he realise it now, i'm sorry. too late. I'm taken. part of the D & C company i must say. It's his loss. I even told you that " fencing will keep us alive.." blah blah.. that was pure bullshit. It was the clara who was blindly in love. So devoted that she was blinded by facts. And for now, I'm pursuing MY DREAM! A dream that i always wanted. I'm doing it for myself. no one else. and i'm outta here!