I'm done with Hairshow. Though it was a successful event, I do not feel happy anymore. Yesterday was the first and last time walking on the runway with you. I know you can feel the rush in me. I know I did you proud because you know I like doing this. I will miss you on the runway with me. As day passes, I am growing more attached towards you. I'm afraid that I can't bear to let you go, but I know I have to. I'm sorry sweetie. My fault. My bad. Right now, my playlist is filled with No Doubt's Don't Speak, Life in Mono by Mono, I Go Crazy by DHT, Littlest Things by Lily Allen, Going Crazy by Natalie and Gwen Stefani's 4 in the morning. It's crazy, bitter to drop back to ground zero. I really do not want to be in this way. And in the meanwhile, those promises from him is starting to disappear in thin hair, He promised to fly my honeymoon plane, no matter what happens between us and I doubt it will happen though I want it so much. He said that he wanted to concentrate on his carrer, and he doesn't feel for anyone. Now that things are already like that, I guess what he said that day was just a way of comforting me but sadly, I rather hear the truth and now, I see the truth myself. It hurts so much now, much more than how it was initially. Why must he lie?! Somehow, I wish that I know the truth, the truth of you not wanting to be with me. I guess having a career is an excuse to leave because right now, you are happy with someone else.
How can you move on so fast? How can you? After all the ups and downs? After all I have done? You really hurt me badly. And now, I am back to ground zero. Thank You.
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4 comments:
BE STRONG CLARA
DUN BE SAD
BE HAPPY
As of now. Nope. I'm not with someone else. And yes. I'll still fly your honeymoon plane. I'll prolly get lots of fire from 'fans' of your blog. Well. I just want to make myself clear. Thanks and enjoy yourself.
Don't bother wasting your time over him. He is nothing but a jerk and will always be. It's a good thing that this happened. You'll understand why I say this in time to come :)
I dare to say all of this because I was in the same exact place as you are now a few years back. Take care.
Life doesn't have to be this hard and love doesn't have to be painful.
Hang in there. Life and love will open its doors to you. :) And you'll stand everytime you hit a rockbottom okay?
You have friends to help you up! Sending you my fierce top model pouts to cheer you up! Heh.
~Ahmad
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